- DUDE. YOU SENT ME A TIE!. AGGGGHHHH YES!! Ooh, that tie's seriously a piece of delicous work! It's reminds me of the beautifully cascading waters of the marvellous Falls of Niagra, only it's a BRITISH waterfall! From ENGLAND! Yeah buddy!
- LETTERRSSSS! THANK YOU Jacob and Brianna. I ABHORRED your letters! I especially appreciated the details about Brianna's love life, seminary, and how she wants me to not tell anyone how she feeds Noel when she's sleeping so Noel will never be skinnier than her. And Jacob's extremely convincing argument about how there's no way Santa's real, because there's "No way a fat man like him could fit down a skinny chimney." It was some good food for thought.
- CEREAL. OMGOODNESS. THANK YOU. I FEEL REAL AGAIN (first time in 4 months I've eaten it...).
- Pictures! Heck yeah! Never seen thse baby pictures before! They're in my photo album on my desk now! :)
- CANDYCANDYCANDYCANDY! AND BAKING MIXES! Already made the Snickerdoodles mix, I'm zeroing in on the lemon bars mix today or tomorrow (these things don't exist out here).
- Dude YOU SENT ME OLD SPIIIIIIICEEEEEE!!! I LITERALLY CRIED WHEN I SAW IT! I never had so much appreciation for American armpit substances until I got out here, where stick deodorants are super hard to find. I don't think they really care for it here. In fact, when I pulled it from the box screaming and jumping and crying, and waved it in the other elders' faces, they just kinda...stood there. And looked at me. Like I was freaking out about nothing, and like I needed to control myself and stop spilling happiness all over them. And that kinda irritated me, actually. When I pulled the Old spice from the box, it was like...freedom. Like the time that Joesph in the Bible got sold into slavery by his family, shipped off to a far off land to labor for strange people (like me and my family, except you guys are paying to keep me out of here, so it's actually technically more of an emotional devastation). It was pretty tough with all the long hours of slave labor, eventual imprisonment, hot sun, and not being able to embrace any women (a) because he would get whipped by his slave driver if he did, and b) because he smelled horrible without his Old Spice, and the women wouldn't come near him anyway). But on Chirstmas day, when his family finally sent him that Christmas package, brimming with thoughtfulness and Old Spice smell, he realized that he was gonna be fine in Egypt, after all. And if I remember right, it wasn't until he got to smelling like Old Spice that he got out of prison and things started getting a lot better for him. So, mom, dad, family - I just wanted to say thank you for giving me the fresh-smelling ticket out of pit-stink prison. Things are really lookin' up now.
OH AND ALSO you sent me those Twistable pencils. I'm gonna whip up something sweet with them and send it your way soon!
Well, life has been pretty chipper, and the work has been going well. Elder Silveira and I are always teaching. Or, at least, most of the time we're teaching. There's that saying, "teach people, not lessons." You know, be more focused on the people you're teaching, rather than what you're teaching. Only the problem is, like with a couple current investigators, they like to talk. In fact, they like to talk so much that the lessons usually last an hour, on average. It's kind of a trap, really. If you talk, they talk more. If you ask a question, they talk even more. And if you even THINK about trying to make a beeline through the lesson (to try to get in a word edgewise), you're dead. Dead meat. They will talk until you either start yelling at them to be quiet, leave, or die on their sofa. Fortunately I haven't died yet, and I learned that sometimes, you teach mouths, not people. People listen, mouths don't. They just talk. Until you die.
Well, haven't had much more news, hope you like the pictures:)
OH transfer's this next week, so don't send letters to my house address, they won't make it to me if I get transferred.
LOVED your letter. BYE!
Elder Daniel Reneer (adores you)(or abhors)(whatever)
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