April 8, 2013

Well this week has been pretty delightful, there's not a whole lot of new things to tell, other than I'm SUPER EXCITED for my first upcoming baptisms as senior companion. SO EXCITED!

This last p-day we went up to the famous hill that's in our area and frolicked and played, and I got some more pictures in for you there:)

I did a little break dance ditty called a 'freeze' with Elder Ralph, who arrived in the CTM with me, and goes to BYU. We're going to do some further frolicking and shenanigans when we return.

Something I've discovered while here is that there are a lot of people that like it when I say things in English, especially when I talk in strong scottish accent, quote Harry Potter of Lord of the Rings movies, or when I throw down a sick rap. Probably my biggest crowd-pleaser currently is the Fresh Prince of Bel Aire Rap, which never fails to get a stiff crowd of goobers excited. They have absolutely NO idea what I'm saying, but they absolutely ADORE it when I sing it.

This week the letter's a little short, but I'm sending more letters your way:)

BUT I STILL LOVE YOU!!

SO MUCH.

BYE!

Elder Daniel Reneer

This photo below was one I took on the way to our zone meeting this last week. We got hit with a quick and heavy storm shower that poured water out onto Soledade's not-so-efficient street drainage system, and it ended up flooding the city in patches, like this one street corner we almost had to get a boat to cross:)

April 1, 2013

Hey my beloved family and friends!

By the way, in the Prescott Valley ward there should be a couple by the name of Linda and Jim Cox, and every month since November they've been sending my letters from AZ. Will you please tell thank you? It may be a while before I can write them...I'm currently owing some 6 or 7 letters...

Training Elder Roper has been going along pretty smoothly, and this week has been verrrrry different from the rest of the mission, with adjusting the way we work here. Fortunately for me, Portuguese isn't an obstacle anymore, I'm pretty comfortable with the language now (praises and blessins). Generally speaking, the only time I have trouble with the language is when I try to tell jokes (which is a highly refined art, tough in another language), make a improv rap, or cuss someone out. I don't have a lot of practice in those areas generally, because I have to focus on scriptures and preaching and being kind and all that jazz. It's generally only in places like prisons and oil rigs where I feel out of place, where at any moment someone could challenge me to a rap battle or start a diss fight, or have to tell someone to get out of my space like, "Hey, you blubbering whisker ball, get your flubbery form out of my face, you lousy limp noodle!" My only weak points.

Elder Roper is getting there too, step by step. :)

But I gotta head to lunch. Hope you like this week's nerd photos :) More to come soon! Also got another Brasilian First! My first kiss from a parrot!

LOVE YOU MORE THAN FAT CHILDREN LOVE CAKE!

-Elder Daniel Reneer

Also forgot to mention that I slid in a photo of our district, us and the sisters!

March 25, 2013

So, I won't lie, I LOVED the pictures! Thanks for sending them my way! SO PROUD of Jacob for destROYING the Pinewood Derby! That's so sweet! With every news of that boy, I get the growing feeling that he's seriously going to be at least 2X better of a human being than me. The best I got in the Pinewood was 2nd place, and that was with the extensive help dad gave me. Jacob made his own car...? That was my understanding, and smoked everyone. And so, using logical numerical math analysis, we can see that if you place 1st place above 2nd you get a 1/2. So using further deepened numerical observationalists, we can see that 1/2 is a clear indicator of 0.5, which is a half of 1, which is what Jacob is.

Using this logic in further application, we can further assume that by the time he has reached my current age, he will have had twice as many girlfriends, and earned twice as much money. He will also have gained 2X as many trophies, have 2X as much hair (which at this point looks like I'm not going to be much competition for him), and he will also be 2X as big, topping 360 pounds, give or take a few. He will also have 2X as many diseases, speech impediments, and roughly 2X as many crimes on his permanent record. In his case, although he's going to have some rough times, he'll always have the good times to fall back on...which are probably going to be twice as good.

But I'm getting distracted here. In Brasil, here in the city of Aracaju, things are going well. We're starting over on a new leaf in the area, because now I have a new companion, whom I am training. He's way cool! His name is Elder Roper, and he's from Phoenix! We're already making plans to play after the mission. He had problems with his Visa, so he arrived in the middle of the transfer. But he's way cool, he's super willing to go out and work, and he's learning Portuguese from the ground up right now (so it's kinda tough for him!). So, that makes 2 people in this companionship that don't know how to speak Portuguese. :)

I'll be honest, my favorite part of the week was getting to know the new arrivals, the americans that were stuck in the States waiting for their Visas to clear. There were four of them, and all 8 of us, trainers and trainees bunked up for a couple days in Maceió getting briefed by the mission president. In the apartment where we spent the night, all the new Americans were admiring how everything was different, making all sorts of commentary and questions, all super wide-eyed and eager to learn more. At one point in the night, one of the Elders ran squealing from the bathroom and shouted excitedly, "Oh man, guys! I had my first cockroach experience!" Ah man, I love this training stuff :)

Hope you guys like the pictures I'm sending! THANK YOU for the letters and pictures, I LOVED them! Got a few pictures in with different companions, and my first night with Elder Roper.

ALRIGHT I LOVE YOU ALL SO EXQUISITELY. GOOD DAY!

Love,

Elder Reneer

(The balder Elder Reneer)

(This one made us laugh when we finally understood the reference.)

March 18, 2013

HELLO my particularly odd and lovable loved ones from the land where cars are at least bigger than the people that drive them. Well...at least most people in the US fit in their cars, but it's not because the car is too small. Here, the cars are all a good bit smaller than cars in the US, so you really gotta squeeze when you have to take your family of 5 to church in a hatchback car the size of a porter potty. But the problem there in the States is that there are occasionally people so obscenely obese that the steering wheel does the heimlech maneuver every time they drive. I'm finally starting to understand why everything's bigger in the United States! :)

So, I've got some lightweight news and some intense news this week!

I got a couple more "Brazilian Firsts " this week. Number one is that I ate crab at a member's house yesterday, and it was way good! At least, I think it was good...well, to be honest, I can only imagine that it was good, because I ended up eating crab that was pretty small... and with the small ones, the accessible meat on each one totals about a tenth of an ounce...so I ended up nibbling pea-sized bits of crab at a time, for some 45 minutes until I just kind of gave up. It's not worth the effort.

Number two is I had my first interaction with a Brazilian screech owl (as seen in the photography picture image). Our neighborhood is actually filled with them, and there's a whole flock of them spread out over the housetops on our street. I was cooling down after the day at my desk reading something, when all of a sudden I heard a ridiculously loud screech coming from our patio area. So I nabbed my camera, and crept over to the window to snatch a photo right quick. When I looked up at the owl, all of a sudden it was staring intensely at me, so hurried and took the picture, blasting flash and all. I waited for it to turn tail and flee, but it just sat there perched and staring at me while I looked at him a bit unsure of myself. All of a sudden the thing screeched, no SCREAMED at me and I about peed myself because for a second my animal instincts made me think I was about to get nibbled on by a demon-bird, but I courageously held my ground and yelled at it, and I managed to get him to flee from my superior prowess. 

I had to shake myself off a little bit after that one, because my companion was closed up in the bathroom taking a shower and I was all alone. :)

SO THE INTENSE NEWS:

I'm getting emergency transferred this week. YEP! Got the news a couple days ago that there are some North Americans coming in late from Provo, in the middle of the transfer, and....I'm gonna be training one of them. ME. YES ME. A WHITE BOY FROM THE STATES. And I'm going to teach him how to survive in Brasil. Not sure if I've figured that out for myself yet. But I'll be staying in the same house and all, so no worries there. But you know, I won't lie, because I'M SO EXCITED THAT I'M GONNA BE A MISSIONARY DAD!

SO I GOTTA GO NOW! I sent a picture of my current zone and district this time.

Also the demon-bird is in one of the photos, the moment before I nearly weed myself. The creeper has some freaky eyes.

BYE LOVE YOU!

I STILL LOVE YOU!

AND NOW I LOVE YOU TOO!

Love, 

Elder Daniel Reneer

March 11, 2013

HEY my great family and friends! You all are just ADORABLE! I could just nibble on your cuteness! You're all just so dag 'gum delightful! Like a duck! Or kangaroo! Or like a walrus! Or leprosy!

I've been doing just fantastically in Aracaju, and it's exquisite to hear how things are going back home where there's........snow.............:( I think I'm finally going through withdrawal sickness from lack of snow/cold in my life. It's seriously getting bad, and the worst part of my separation from cold is when I walk into an air-conditioned building every once in a while, and all of a sudden I get an enormous rush of endorphins and then I absolutely lose control. I start crying, my pupils dilate, my hair stands on end, and I have the most enormous craving for cold things...usually starts with standing in front of the air conditioner (still crying, with occasional bouts of wailing), and with increasing dissatisfaction I switch gears and just go for the freezers and start sticking popsicles and ice cream in my shirt, and that's usually about the time the store authorities throw me out (this usually happens in air-conditioned markets). And then I have no choice but to sit on the sidewalk (in the shade, of course, where it's cooler), with my Brazilian companion staring judgementally at me, me weeping and eating my spoils stuffed in my shirt. It's a wonder we get anything done together, my poor companion. I'm always soaking wet with ice cream and crying.

But besides that, things are pretty chipper here. We've seen some AWESOME development in the ward here in Soledade, all the members of the church are constantly wanting to do splits with us and refer us to their friends, and go out and get a piece of the action themselves. It's so awesome to work with a ward who loves the missionary work! We've been working to get the members of the church here more involved, and it's been going super well. It's like the part in Lord of the Rings when Aragorn rouses the hidden host of the undead to destroy the evil forces of Sauron. Dude I get goosebumps! But in all seriousness.......in all seriousness, it's exactly like that part of the movie.

So today I went out and spoiled myself by buying a few birthday presents, which I've been needing. I bought some USB drives to back up my photos, and I went and bought a replacement backpack (the one I have been using kinda corroded and shriveled up dead). I'll send you a picture soon, it's got my favorite soccer team's logo on the front :) VAI CORINTHIANS! (they're the best team in Brazil, one of the best in the world)

Well I gotta fly, I LOVE YOU ALL SO SO SO MUCH! I sent some photos of our district (with the Sisters), of the ward missionary leader and two soon-to-be Sister missionaries, and a few others, including a close-up photo so you can see my haircut :)

BYE

LOVE

Elder Reneer 

(P.S. TELL OTTLEY I'M SUPER SUPER PUMPED FOR HIM!)

March 4, 2013

HI MOM AND DAD! Also, everyone else gets a generic "Hi." Like the one that broken-up couples give when they pass by each other. Cold, bitter and reluctant. And yet, with a little bit of a glimmer of tears in my eyes because YOU DON'T WRITE ME ANYMORE. But it's cool! I still love y'all and all! Like broken-up couples always do. It's just that there's not a chance that I'm gonna like, affectionately tickle you, or make you cookies, or even get you balloons on your birthday with special poems inside. And I'm gonna have to fill in the void, and like, buy a motorcycle, go cliff-diving, or like, join a pack of mysteriously dangerous werewolves that never wears shirts. I'll just go where I'm appreciated. It's whatever...:)

But on a lighter note, things are going good here in Soledade! I got a new companion, his name is Elder Roberts, and he's from down in the Southeast, São Paulo. 

ALSO maybe you didn't really know, but I had a birthday about 2 days ago (standard time, 1 Day=24 Hour units)! And I had actually forgotten about my birthday the day of, until I had been awake for a few hours, during studies. What's SUPER COOL is that some members of the ward remembered better than I did, and ambushed me at the chapel when I went to give a class for some of the youth that are headed out on missions soon. Sister Tereza, a recent convert MADE ME A CAKE that I can eat! During the morning, President and Sister Gonzaga actually called me to wish me happy birthday, and sang to me in ENGLISH! YES! IT WAS SO DELICIOUS!

You should know that some of the members from the ward recorded a video of surprising me at the chapel, and they wanted me to tell you to accept Bruno Oliveira on facebook so he could send you the video. And I'm just sayin', you know if you want to see it, you can mosy on over to facebook and add him, he said he already requested me as a friend.  

I also gotta be completely honest with you here, there's an elder from idaho that's in my zone, Elder Figgins, who I got to chat with the other day when we were awaiting our new companions. And I won't lie, I think I may have had my first "almost trunky" conversation with him. The term "almost trunky" is a particular phrase that denotes a sensation that you feel like you're becoming old on the mission, and that denotes also a certain sensation of realizing that you're REALLY HERE IN BRAZIL. It doesn't mean trunky, which describes missionaries that want to go home, don't like Portuguese, or don't enjoy strolling on vertical hills while being cooked by the sun, which in turn, cooks the ground too, which ground then also begins to heat up and cook you too, which then starts to melt your shoes and make you stuck, which means you end up stuck on a vertical surface, desperately trying to search out shade, while being cooked in place, while everybody points at you and calls you mean names, like "gross sweaty American." No, I like all that stuff, it's like a happy way to suffer. :)

No, the problem was in our conversation, that we discovered that we both LOVE snowboarding, and that BOTH of our bodies are dying to bathe in the cool powdery freedom that it brings to the soul :) Seriously, if there's anything that makes being in Brazil at all tough, it's thinking about snowboarding down a nice, cool, peaceful mountainside. A mountanside that doesn't make you melt, or call you "gross sweaty American." I hate those mountainsides. :)

But truthfully, all is going superbly out here in Soldedade, Sergipe. I recovered my photos! So I'll be sending more now, and I'm gonna go ahead and use my "birthday money" to invest in a backup drive to dump all my photos. 

Alright, I bid you adieu. It was awesome to hear that Jacob smoked the Pinewood Derby competition. :)

LOVE YOU. Well, at least some of you ;)

Elder Daniel Reneer

February 25, 2013

HI FAMILY! IT'S SO NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN!!! OKAY SO MAYBE IT'S NOT SEEING...OR HEARING...or hugging...or anything that lets me actually emphasize my love adequately...but you should all know that I thoroughly enjoy the weekly opportunity I receive every 7th day of each week to weekly make words for you four to five times each month. And I'm not even counting all the times that I open my photo album and start talking to your pictures! That's nice too, but I don't do that very much anymore though,  because my companions start calling me names like, "Crazy American baboon," or "Big blubbery girl," or "Silly bum-face." But I don't let them bother me too much, because I KNOW for a FACT that my face doesn't even look like a bum that much.

Anyways, I'm getting off topic. I've been having a really good time labouring in Soledade, I've had a lot of success with Elder Rodrigues. The members here are AWESOME too! They're constantly fighting eachother to sign up more than everyone else to give lunch to the missionaries (that's us!). They really like us!

One thing that a lot of people ask me, is how the United States is different from Brasil. Anyone that's ever been out of the country among strangers knows that it's hot water to answer this question seriously, because the most obvious differences are always money, government and religion. And food. And you never, EVER say anything about people's government, monetary welfare, and esPECIALLY food being better that the other country's.

So I never answer directly. I've learned to beat around the bush a bit.

One of the things that's interesting is what's considered fashionable and stylish here, like clothing. Here what's SUPER popular is clothing with English words on it. Like, just about any English you can think of. Like for example, I've seen some shirts that say stuff like, "Dancing, love, sang, happy." I would consider that good shirt material. The thing is, they have almost NO idea what it's saying. It usually already doesn't make sense, but for all they know, it could be saying stuff like, "Wee, knuckle, pimple, zit," in very stylish font, and they can EASILY get away with it. It's good entertainment value for strangers. :)

Alright, I have to go right now!

I LOVE YOU!

I'm praying for Mark.

-Elder Daniel Reneer

February 18, 2013

So first of all, momma, thanks for the email, and I will absolutely try to not change the fuzzy head part. I enjoy having a very healthy, fuzzy head. The only problem might be that my head fuzz might not enjoy me as much, and is trying to leave me before I get back stateside...and so that might change. By the time I'm back home,  you might find that affectionately calling me "cue ball head" works better.

Ayways, I'm so happy that you guys are staying active and things are going well. Sounds like maybe a little...over-active? And I'm SO GLAD you guys sent me a card, that HUGS ME. So I took a picture to try to represent my sentiments, I hope it helps you understand a bit just how MUCH I appreciated it. OH ALSO! I finally worked in a photo of me with Elder Rodrigues. The guy's a goober! A way good guy to work with, a hard worker and a good guy, and we've been having TONS of success with finding, teaching and helping people to progress!

One of the photos is of our baptism this last week, of a couple that we've beem working with for about a month now. THEY'RE SO AWESOME. The big black guy's name is Joaldo, the smaller white one is Angelica, and they ALREADY had the mannerisms of an LDS family when we met them. Joaldo just had to ditch drinking with his friends, which was probably the toughest part. But they have a daugher, Alice, who's 9 years old, and it's looking like Joaldo's gonna be the one who baptizes her this week! SO SO SO COOL!

Thing is, we had an...almost crisis with Joaldo the week before the baptism. He had already received answers to his prayers about the Church being true, knew that baptism was what he needed, and was getting prepared to get baptized, and the WEEK of the baptism, he downed a couple cans of beer with his buddy. So when we found out about it, we talked to him a bit, discussed the Word of Wisdom a bit, and Elder Rodrigues asked him very sincerely, "Joaldo, after you drank, how did you feel about what you did?"

He looked down at his feet, he looked pretty sheepish, and said, "I felt bad." "Why, Joaldo?".......(silence)....."Because it was pretty warm."

 Thing is, he actually did feel pretty bad that he had drunk. He passed his interview and everything. The thing is, I just happened to learn in a pretty unexpected way that there's nothing in the world worse than a warm can of beer. Forget the weight of a heavy conscience, or the feelings of being trapped in an addiction, or the sheer disappointment of finding out that old people hairs have started growing in your ears. Nothing, NOTHING compares to a toasty can of booze. That sucker will ruin a good day no matter what.

So, a little about Carnaval here in Brasil...it's they're ultimate holiday here. It's pretty much a week straight of partying, parades, late nights and boys running around in the streets hucking eggs at everything. So I drew a visual aid diagram picture to show you a bit of what it was like. But it's all good, everything went pretty calmly.

ALRIGHT I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH.

BYE.

LOVE YOU.

STILL LOVE YOU.

-Elder Reneer

February 11, 2013

Hi Momma, hi Dad! Hi Reneer family!(this is Daniel Elder Reneer, the one from Brasil just to make things clear)

 

As far as the package thing goes, it's all the same to me. Beggars can't be choosers, right? It's up to you, it doesn't make a difference to me. Now or later, it's all good.

 

Like I've been saying in the last couple curt emails, is that it's been REALLY tough to find a scrap of time to write either letters or emails. The p-days have been a little messed up the past few weeks, with Elder Bednar, a zone activity and a few other things. Today is day 4 of Carnaval (their week of festivals, parties, celebrations, diseases), and there was almost no cyber cafe open for the missionaries to use. So I got lucky today! Almost didn't get an email again....:/ Also, another problem...my pictures may possibly have all been deleted, so until I get the diagnosis on my memory card, my 450ish photo collection is presumably....dead. Ouch.

 

After the first week of this transfer, Elder Bednar came to visit, as I know I've already said. I'm living in Aracaju currently, which is about 6 hours from Maceió, where he came to visit. So what happened was that all the missionaries around the Aracaju area had to travel by bus at 3am in the morning to get to the chapel in Maceió in time for Elder Bednar. So the night before, Elder Rodrigues and I...."Hey, Elder, what time should we get up in the morning?" "Mmm...1:30. That should give us time to get to the bus comfortably." *set alarm, lie down, sleep-die instantly*....*alarm goes off, sit up in bed, wipe sleep from eyes* "Harry, wake up Harry, we're going to the zoo!"...I waited for him to sit up in bed, he looked at the clock and said, "TWO thirty man? TWO-thirty! Run, man! Let's go!

 

....

So we ended up, 3 minutes later, sprinting out of the apartment in the middle of the night, two missionaries in Sunday clothes down the street to try desperately to find a taxi. After sprinting a good quarter mile, we stopped to ask a man - who was talking a stroll in the street at 2:30 with his wife and kids - where we could find a taxi. That's when he stopped us dead in our tracks and said, "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold up a minute. First, say, good evening, how are you? No, no, no, say good evening, how are you sir?" Elder Rodrigues, "How are you, everything good?" ...Then midnight stroller, "Okay, very good, now we can have a conversation like normal people. You can follow this street until you find your taxi, good night." .......Said the very normal man taking a walk with his family at the hour of night when bad things happen, like people getting kidnapped, mugged, cats disappearing, or like really scary nightmares about weeing yourself when the McDonald's cashier asks you what you want. Notwithstanding this man and his burning desire to make friends at 3 in the morning, we still made it to the bus, with time to spare. So, it was a bit of a wierd experience, running around in the middle of the night, tracking down a taxi, getting inspected for common courtesy, but definitely a cool thing! Yeah, like super darn cool!

 

So I also attatched one of the two photos that I still have, of a diagram of how I sleep at night in relation to my fan, the which has started the habit of nipping my fingers at night (it doesn't have a grate in front). I've had a good number of nights and early mornings waking up to my hand getting attacked, in the midst of my peaceful slumber. You really gotta watch out on the mission, there's a million and one ways that dag gum devil'll getcha, you literally gotta sleep with one eye open.

 

Alright family, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. BYE.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I LOVE YOU RIGHT NOW TOO.

 

 

 

 

AND NOW TOO!

 

 

Much love,

Elder Daniel Reneer

January 28, 2013

Well momma, I'm pretty sad, first off, because I don't get to send the email I want this week, it just didn't work out, but I hope you like the photos! We called in the ZL's from the neighboring area to visit a recent convert family and hike up a hill nearby, and so we got a few solid pictures.

I LOVE YOU

The photos contain me, Elder Garozzi (whitish missionary), Mendes(shorter dark one), and my companion E. Rodrigues. 

LOVE YOU AGAIN

Elder Reneer, the Daniel version, number two.

January 22, 2013

ME! HI! I'M THAT ONE ELDER PERSON THAT YOU GUYS SENT TO BRAZIL! YEAH! IT'S THE DANIEL SURNAMED RENEER TITLED ELDER PERSON! YOU KNOW!? I REALLY HOPE YOU'RE NICE AND HAPPY THERE IN THE LAND TERRAIN COUNTRY UNITED STATES (where they have air conditioning)! :)

HEY! I bet you didn't know a something! About my transfer! So you know how missionaries get shifted around and all that jazz? Well, that was like, me this last week! I was one of those shifty missionaries this week! I got shifted and all that jazz, and torn from my place of birth in the mission field, i.e. Lagarto. Now I'm not there. I'm in another place. And that other place is not Lagarto, it's a different place. It's a place that's different. Different from that first place. That first place was Lagarto. Which is where I'm not right now, because I'm in a different place. So by logical deduction theorem methods, we can assume from my previously proclaimed clauses that I'm in Aracaju, in a place called Soledade(Which if you speak the Portuguese tongue sounds like Soul-eh-DOD-gee). 

I got a new companion, his name's Elder Rodrigues. He's from way down south in Brazil, Rio Grande do Sul, where it actually gets cold enough to SNOW! Which I didn't know existed until I met people from that part of the country. It might be just a little dusting of snow, a wee little sprinkling of snow, but it's just really hard to imagine that there are cold places in Brazil after being in this part of the country, commonly called the people-oven. It's so hot here, in fact, that every once in a while some of the more elderly people and small children fall over in the streets, thoroughly cooked, and evenly salted (from excessive and thorough sweating), and perish under the sun as very large and well-roasted steaks. It's really sad, but on a positive note, you don't have to worry about making a retirement fund, because you'll probably just die before you get to the point where you'll need to use it. A FANTASTIC way to avoid all that pesky stress and irritating financial planning! Instead of ending up as a stress-balded, money-worried, irritable old person, you'll just end up as a deliciously well-cooked slab of meat for EVERYone to admire and enjoy! Never have to worry about dragging the kids kicking and screaming to visit old grandma or grandpa! (I'm just kidding grandma:) )

So listening to Elder Bednar talk was AWESOME. SUPERB. Very spiritual and enlightening. And it's really funny, because the way he gave a talk was like I was listening to dad give a talk, and it was FREAKING me out, because he has the SAME JOKE FACE AS DAD. So, not only does this Apostle of the Lord have an almost identical teaching method of asking questions, same composure, and same attitude about teaching the Gospel to people, but he MAKES THE SAME JOKE FACE AS DAD. So, I think during the talk he gave I started getting a little bit needy for my dad, and I really just wanted to pull him in for a big 'ole apostolic hug at the end, and like, ask him if he could take me out for ice cream or take me shooting or something, but I got kinda nervous when it was my turn in the handshake line and just kinda sputtered out a half-Portuguese, half-English, half-Spanish "You're nice," or some other super-thoughtful phrase formed by an overly-intelligent being like that. After I walked by him I just felt super-defeated. I guess it's good though, a little failure keeps you good and humble. 

Well it was a good week, Elder Rodrigues and I are making a lot of good progress in our area. We have 3 super secure baptisms this weekend, and more to come later. He's an AWESOME companion, a super good guy, and in the work we've been seeing tons of small miracles happen. It's so cool!

I LOVE YOU GUYS! BE GOOD! OR AT LEAST MOSTLY GOOD!

Love, 

Elder Daniel Reneer

January 14, 2013

SO GUESS WHAT!! GUESS WHAT! 

IT'S ABOUT ME! SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED TO ME! RECENTLY!

I GOT TRANSFERRED!!!!! I'M LEAVING MY FIRST AREA! Proportionately speaking, it's kinda like I just finished being a toddler and started kindergarten! Now's when I get to learn how to yo-yo, jump rope and all that other big kid stuff like baptize.Only, the only thing I know is that I'm leaving Lagarto , I have no idea with whom or where I'm going, except that I'll still be in the same state, Sergipe, so I'll for sure be trading houses. Sure hope you didn't send any letters to the house recently....................everybody loves a letter from home, but you know...some letters disappear when the missionary's not around to get it. It's kinda a sad thing that happens. Kinda like with orphans, when they don't get adopted in time, they just kinda disappear, get lost, stolen by jealous missionaries, or they die. But mostly they just die, and nobody knows about it.

So I'm sending a few more photos your way from this week, hope you love them.

As you can see from the photos that exhibit their images, I touched a donkey. It's not like it's really that special of a thing to take a picture of, but I really felt like it was for him, more than it was for me. I think he's really lonely, doesn't really have any sort of father figure in his life. Elder Silveira and I pet him for a bit, then walked off and left him alone. Though we didn't get very far until we noticed he was following us, trying to cover his approach by making it look like he was just eating the grass and weeds behind us. But I wasn't fooled. As we all know, donkeys have great senses of humor (thanks to Brian Regan), and I could tell that he was trying to joke around with me, trying to play. I think it's another one of those orphan things... where they're just desperate to impress people, knowing that if they don't succeed in impressing people in time, they'll never get adopted, and like an unclaimed missionary letter, they'll just get taken advantage of, probably kindapped. Maybe even join the military, or join a gang, or a jedi academy. Somewhere where they think people will take care of them, anyways.

Also, I made a...cookie. Only it didn't exactly turn out as a sleek sheet of cookies. It was kinda meant to be a cookie sheet, like brownies, but it kinda ended up burning on the bottom, and then it was suddenly almost totally inseparable. So, I got a big cookie. I blame the wind for this one. We actually have a lot of wind in our apartment, it knocks stuff over all the time. Bottles, dishes, clothes hung up to dry. Usually the wind isn't a factor in baking, but in our apartment, it becomes one. So I blame the wind. I think it might have knocked over the... temperature knob on the oven...or something.

Elder Silveira and Marques have both now informed me that I sleep talk. Elder Marques told me a while back I said some stuff, called for my mommy, things like that, he didn't really understand much because it was English. A couple days ago, Elder Silveira told me that I sleep talk also...well actually, he told me that I "sleep-box." Sleep-boxing is a term generally applied to people that can't manage to form words while verbalizing dreams during sleep, that instead start to make beatboxing noises. So....I beatboxed in my sleep. Spat out a sick track. I think they say that if you speak a different language in your sleep that you're fluent. So it's safe to assume if I EVER need to communicate with a drum, a speaker, or maybe even a drummer, or like, a DJ, that I can handle my own. 

Well, the work is going super well, I'm INTENSELY excited to hear Elder Bednar speak next week. Bringing a painted poster that says, "Dude, you're like my favorite apostle! Bednar's #1 or bust!"

Also, my next email will be on this Saturday, because Elder Bednar is coming to speak on the following p-day, so email got moved. Until then!

I. LOVE. YOU. SO MUCH.

Loved your email, so good to hear the family's busy and having fun.

BYE!

Elder Daniel Reneer

January 7, 2013

FIRST of all I wanna say THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU AND THAT YOU'RE ALL LIKE MIRACLE-WORKERS OR SOMETHING BECAUSE YOU SENT ME A BOX FULL OF THINGS THAT MADE ME REALLY EXCITEDLY JOYOUSLY CHIPPER! I sent a photo or two to give you an idea of just how much I was satisfied with its contents. So, I would like to take a moment to recognize the thoughfulness you put into sending me my Christmas box.

 - DUDE. YOU SENT ME A TIE!. AGGGGHHHH YES!! Ooh, that tie's seriously a piece of delicous work! It's reminds me of the beautifully cascading waters of the marvellous Falls of Niagra, only it's a BRITISH waterfall! From ENGLAND! Yeah buddy!

 - LETTERRSSSS! THANK YOU Jacob and Brianna. I ABHORRED your letters! I especially appreciated the details about Brianna's love life, seminary, and how she wants me to not tell anyone how she feeds Noel when she's sleeping so Noel will never be skinnier than her. And Jacob's extremely convincing argument about how there's no way Santa's real, because there's "No way a fat man like him could fit down a skinny chimney." It was some good food for thought.

 - CEREAL. OMGOODNESS. THANK YOU. I FEEL REAL AGAIN (first time in 4 months I've eaten it...).

 - Pictures! Heck yeah! Never seen thse baby pictures before! They're in my photo album on my desk now! :)

 - CANDYCANDYCANDYCANDY! AND BAKING MIXES! Already made the Snickerdoodles mix, I'm zeroing in on the lemon bars mix today or tomorrow (these things don't exist out here).

 - Dude YOU SENT ME OLD SPIIIIIIICEEEEEE!!! I LITERALLY CRIED WHEN I SAW IT! I never had so much appreciation for American armpit substances until I got out here, where stick deodorants are super hard to find. I don't think they really care for it here. In fact, when I pulled it from the box screaming and jumping and crying, and waved it in the other elders' faces, they just kinda...stood there. And looked at me. Like I was freaking out about nothing, and like I needed to control myself and stop spilling happiness all over them. And that kinda irritated me, actually. When I pulled the Old spice from the box, it was like...freedom. Like the time that Joesph in the Bible got sold into slavery by his family, shipped off to a far off land to labor for strange people (like me and my family, except you guys are paying to keep me out of here, so it's actually technically more of an emotional devastation). It was pretty tough with all the long hours of slave labor, eventual imprisonment, hot sun, and not being able to embrace any women (a) because he would get whipped by his slave driver if he did, and b) because he smelled horrible without his Old Spice, and the women wouldn't come near him anyway). But on Chirstmas day, when his family finally sent him that Christmas package, brimming with thoughtfulness and Old Spice smell, he realized that he was gonna be fine in Egypt, after all. And if I remember right, it wasn't until he got to smelling like Old Spice that he got out of prison and things started getting a lot better for him. So, mom, dad, family - I just wanted to say thank you for giving me the fresh-smelling ticket out of pit-stink prison. Things are really lookin' up now.

OH AND ALSO you sent me those Twistable pencils. I'm gonna whip up something sweet with them and send it your way soon!

Well, life has been pretty chipper, and the work has been going well. Elder Silveira and I are always teaching. Or, at least, most of the time we're teaching. There's that saying, "teach people, not lessons." You know, be more focused on the people you're teaching, rather than what you're teaching. Only the problem is, like with a couple current investigators, they like to talk. In fact, they like to talk so much that the lessons usually last an hour, on average. It's kind of a trap, really. If you talk, they talk more. If you ask a question, they talk even more. And if you even THINK about trying to make a beeline through the lesson (to try to get in a word edgewise), you're dead. Dead meat. They will talk until you either start yelling at them to be quiet, leave, or die on their sofa. Fortunately I haven't died yet, and I learned that sometimes, you teach mouths, not people. People listen, mouths don't. They just talk. Until you die.

Well, haven't had much more news, hope you like the pictures:)

OH transfer's this next week, so don't send letters to my house address, they won't make it to me if I get transferred.

LOVED your letter. BYE!

Elder Daniel Reneer (adores you)(or abhors)(whatever)

December 31, 2012

Ha! I bet you didn't figure out who it is yet!! oh, I KNOW! I'll give you a clue!! Let's see, the clue is....I LOVE YOU. SO DESPERATELY MUCH. :)

What beatuiful news to hear about the family, doing so much stuff together, getting together with the Tiensvolds, hosting Brad, checking out hockey games, that's WAY tight! Wish I had had more time to just talk with you, mom and pops, during the Skype call. Sounds like you guys are staying busy, that's for sure! Always praying for you guys! Make sure to tell Brad and the Tiensvolds hi, BUT FROM ME! And give 'em a good solid hug, too! OOH and don't forget to tell Mark Shield's family hi for me too, and wish him good health! I finished his book a while back, and really appreciated it. I let an Elder in the MTC from Cape Verde read it too, after he went through the temple, and he ALSO really appreciated it. ALSO I'M SO HAPPY TO HEAR THAT JACOB'S BAPTISSSSSM WENT WELL! Yeah buddy, SO good to hear! 

Life is pretty good out here:) Christmas was good, not too eventful. We got fed pretty well in a part-member house, and it was pretty DANG good food. Then we went out to work, taught some lessons, found new investigators, marked some baptisms. 

This week was pretty special actually, because I FINISHED THE BOOK OF MORMON IN PORTUGUESE! If y'all are feelin' me lemme hear y'all say YEAAAAAHHHHH! That's 620 pages of highly formal Portuguese, more or less well understood, READ and UNDER my belt! Woo! I made a goal about a month and a half ago to make a push to finish it before the end of the year, with about 500 pages to go, so it feels WAY good to have finished that. So, according to the promise made by the Prophet a ways back, I'm now fluent in Portuguese. Which means now I can successfully, speak, hear, comprehend, ask for directions, describe what a fulfilling experience eating a home-made cookie is, tell a joke, give orders, make poems, and humiliate and cuss out people. Really anything you could possibly need during the day, I learned from my reading. It's been great!

But in all seriousness, reading the Book of Mormon in another language has been really cool, because I've been learning how it's not important if you don't understand perfectly how it's written, or at times how it may be diffucult to comprehend. Because as I've been reading and studying, my testimony's been fortified immensely, and so many of the teachings contained in it have been helping me daily to change who I am, regardless of whatever reduced reading comprehension. The mission's tough, but it wouldn't be worth it without what that beautiful book has to offer. 

Okay, so you wanted me to let you know what I bought for Christmas with my card. Christmas eve I went and bought a soccer ball and pump, and it was about $15. My reasoning was something like, "Hey, what the heck I'm in Brasil, I should be doing like the Brasilians do, like eating more liver, or cussing out Argentina, or playing soccer more." I figured I really needed to take some skills away from the mission, and eating liver and cussing out Brasilians didn't exactly make the cut, so I settled on the soccer ball. 

Only, upon my purchase, I made a discovery. As I brought the ball home, and the news spread to the other Brasilian missionaries in the house that I had a foocheebowl(football in Portuguese, more or less), all of a sudden I found myself very..."football-less." "Hey, check out what Elder Reneer bought!" "Aw sweet, lemme see that! Heck yeah!" And from there on, it was like watching a swarm of Brasilian sharks swarm in on a kill, using only their feet, or watching a man mistakenly walk into a field and get swarmed and eaten by a flock of molemen...or better yet, watching a chubby 3-year old walk into the middle of a crowd of doting cheek-piching senior citizens. There's just nothing you can do except watch in horror as that poor little guy gets devoured, screaming and struggling as he tries to fight his way out of the dry and wrinkly, adoring crowd. Ah, poor guy. 

MAN I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH! Hope you LOVE your time together with everybody today, have an awesome New Year's! 

Pictures! Got a good mix here! There's a picture of us four in Lagarto at the Hospital on Christmas, we went there to sing for all of the patients. Got a picture of the Brasilian moon (they really only have this type here), and a snapshot of another Brasilian First, a tarantula that was hanging out outside the church last night. Also, got a picture inside an investigator's house, on her sofa made of entirely Coca-Cola bottles (I'll get a picture of her sent too, soon!). Oh...yeah...and there's also a picture of a trunky moment I had outside of a fun park that's currently visiting Lagarto. Agh, I never really had a real trunky moment until I saw that ferris wheel...and realized my corpse wouldn't be mounting the frolicking features of an amusement park ride for a good amount of time:)

BYE I LOVE YOU!

I'M WRITING LOTS OF LETTERS HOME NOW THAT I FINISHED THE BoM, BE READY!

Love, 

Elder Daniel Christopher Reallylikesallofyouspecificallyandindividually Reneer