March 18, 2013

HELLO my particularly odd and lovable loved ones from the land where cars are at least bigger than the people that drive them. Well...at least most people in the US fit in their cars, but it's not because the car is too small. Here, the cars are all a good bit smaller than cars in the US, so you really gotta squeeze when you have to take your family of 5 to church in a hatchback car the size of a porter potty. But the problem there in the States is that there are occasionally people so obscenely obese that the steering wheel does the heimlech maneuver every time they drive. I'm finally starting to understand why everything's bigger in the United States! :)

So, I've got some lightweight news and some intense news this week!

I got a couple more "Brazilian Firsts " this week. Number one is that I ate crab at a member's house yesterday, and it was way good! At least, I think it was good...well, to be honest, I can only imagine that it was good, because I ended up eating crab that was pretty small... and with the small ones, the accessible meat on each one totals about a tenth of an ounce...so I ended up nibbling pea-sized bits of crab at a time, for some 45 minutes until I just kind of gave up. It's not worth the effort.

Number two is I had my first interaction with a Brazilian screech owl (as seen in the photography picture image). Our neighborhood is actually filled with them, and there's a whole flock of them spread out over the housetops on our street. I was cooling down after the day at my desk reading something, when all of a sudden I heard a ridiculously loud screech coming from our patio area. So I nabbed my camera, and crept over to the window to snatch a photo right quick. When I looked up at the owl, all of a sudden it was staring intensely at me, so hurried and took the picture, blasting flash and all. I waited for it to turn tail and flee, but it just sat there perched and staring at me while I looked at him a bit unsure of myself. All of a sudden the thing screeched, no SCREAMED at me and I about peed myself because for a second my animal instincts made me think I was about to get nibbled on by a demon-bird, but I courageously held my ground and yelled at it, and I managed to get him to flee from my superior prowess. 

I had to shake myself off a little bit after that one, because my companion was closed up in the bathroom taking a shower and I was all alone. :)

SO THE INTENSE NEWS:

I'm getting emergency transferred this week. YEP! Got the news a couple days ago that there are some North Americans coming in late from Provo, in the middle of the transfer, and....I'm gonna be training one of them. ME. YES ME. A WHITE BOY FROM THE STATES. And I'm going to teach him how to survive in Brasil. Not sure if I've figured that out for myself yet. But I'll be staying in the same house and all, so no worries there. But you know, I won't lie, because I'M SO EXCITED THAT I'M GONNA BE A MISSIONARY DAD!

SO I GOTTA GO NOW! I sent a picture of my current zone and district this time.

Also the demon-bird is in one of the photos, the moment before I nearly weed myself. The creeper has some freaky eyes.

BYE LOVE YOU!

I STILL LOVE YOU!

AND NOW I LOVE YOU TOO!

Love, 

Elder Daniel Reneer

March 11, 2013

HEY my great family and friends! You all are just ADORABLE! I could just nibble on your cuteness! You're all just so dag 'gum delightful! Like a duck! Or kangaroo! Or like a walrus! Or leprosy!

I've been doing just fantastically in Aracaju, and it's exquisite to hear how things are going back home where there's........snow.............:( I think I'm finally going through withdrawal sickness from lack of snow/cold in my life. It's seriously getting bad, and the worst part of my separation from cold is when I walk into an air-conditioned building every once in a while, and all of a sudden I get an enormous rush of endorphins and then I absolutely lose control. I start crying, my pupils dilate, my hair stands on end, and I have the most enormous craving for cold things...usually starts with standing in front of the air conditioner (still crying, with occasional bouts of wailing), and with increasing dissatisfaction I switch gears and just go for the freezers and start sticking popsicles and ice cream in my shirt, and that's usually about the time the store authorities throw me out (this usually happens in air-conditioned markets). And then I have no choice but to sit on the sidewalk (in the shade, of course, where it's cooler), with my Brazilian companion staring judgementally at me, me weeping and eating my spoils stuffed in my shirt. It's a wonder we get anything done together, my poor companion. I'm always soaking wet with ice cream and crying.

But besides that, things are pretty chipper here. We've seen some AWESOME development in the ward here in Soledade, all the members of the church are constantly wanting to do splits with us and refer us to their friends, and go out and get a piece of the action themselves. It's so awesome to work with a ward who loves the missionary work! We've been working to get the members of the church here more involved, and it's been going super well. It's like the part in Lord of the Rings when Aragorn rouses the hidden host of the undead to destroy the evil forces of Sauron. Dude I get goosebumps! But in all seriousness.......in all seriousness, it's exactly like that part of the movie.

So today I went out and spoiled myself by buying a few birthday presents, which I've been needing. I bought some USB drives to back up my photos, and I went and bought a replacement backpack (the one I have been using kinda corroded and shriveled up dead). I'll send you a picture soon, it's got my favorite soccer team's logo on the front :) VAI CORINTHIANS! (they're the best team in Brazil, one of the best in the world)

Well I gotta fly, I LOVE YOU ALL SO SO SO MUCH! I sent some photos of our district (with the Sisters), of the ward missionary leader and two soon-to-be Sister missionaries, and a few others, including a close-up photo so you can see my haircut :)

BYE

LOVE

Elder Reneer 

(P.S. TELL OTTLEY I'M SUPER SUPER PUMPED FOR HIM!)

March 4, 2013

HI MOM AND DAD! Also, everyone else gets a generic "Hi." Like the one that broken-up couples give when they pass by each other. Cold, bitter and reluctant. And yet, with a little bit of a glimmer of tears in my eyes because YOU DON'T WRITE ME ANYMORE. But it's cool! I still love y'all and all! Like broken-up couples always do. It's just that there's not a chance that I'm gonna like, affectionately tickle you, or make you cookies, or even get you balloons on your birthday with special poems inside. And I'm gonna have to fill in the void, and like, buy a motorcycle, go cliff-diving, or like, join a pack of mysteriously dangerous werewolves that never wears shirts. I'll just go where I'm appreciated. It's whatever...:)

But on a lighter note, things are going good here in Soledade! I got a new companion, his name is Elder Roberts, and he's from down in the Southeast, São Paulo. 

ALSO maybe you didn't really know, but I had a birthday about 2 days ago (standard time, 1 Day=24 Hour units)! And I had actually forgotten about my birthday the day of, until I had been awake for a few hours, during studies. What's SUPER COOL is that some members of the ward remembered better than I did, and ambushed me at the chapel when I went to give a class for some of the youth that are headed out on missions soon. Sister Tereza, a recent convert MADE ME A CAKE that I can eat! During the morning, President and Sister Gonzaga actually called me to wish me happy birthday, and sang to me in ENGLISH! YES! IT WAS SO DELICIOUS!

You should know that some of the members from the ward recorded a video of surprising me at the chapel, and they wanted me to tell you to accept Bruno Oliveira on facebook so he could send you the video. And I'm just sayin', you know if you want to see it, you can mosy on over to facebook and add him, he said he already requested me as a friend.  

I also gotta be completely honest with you here, there's an elder from idaho that's in my zone, Elder Figgins, who I got to chat with the other day when we were awaiting our new companions. And I won't lie, I think I may have had my first "almost trunky" conversation with him. The term "almost trunky" is a particular phrase that denotes a sensation that you feel like you're becoming old on the mission, and that denotes also a certain sensation of realizing that you're REALLY HERE IN BRAZIL. It doesn't mean trunky, which describes missionaries that want to go home, don't like Portuguese, or don't enjoy strolling on vertical hills while being cooked by the sun, which in turn, cooks the ground too, which ground then also begins to heat up and cook you too, which then starts to melt your shoes and make you stuck, which means you end up stuck on a vertical surface, desperately trying to search out shade, while being cooked in place, while everybody points at you and calls you mean names, like "gross sweaty American." No, I like all that stuff, it's like a happy way to suffer. :)

No, the problem was in our conversation, that we discovered that we both LOVE snowboarding, and that BOTH of our bodies are dying to bathe in the cool powdery freedom that it brings to the soul :) Seriously, if there's anything that makes being in Brazil at all tough, it's thinking about snowboarding down a nice, cool, peaceful mountainside. A mountanside that doesn't make you melt, or call you "gross sweaty American." I hate those mountainsides. :)

But truthfully, all is going superbly out here in Soldedade, Sergipe. I recovered my photos! So I'll be sending more now, and I'm gonna go ahead and use my "birthday money" to invest in a backup drive to dump all my photos. 

Alright, I bid you adieu. It was awesome to hear that Jacob smoked the Pinewood Derby competition. :)

LOVE YOU. Well, at least some of you ;)

Elder Daniel Reneer

February 25, 2013

HI FAMILY! IT'S SO NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN!!! OKAY SO MAYBE IT'S NOT SEEING...OR HEARING...or hugging...or anything that lets me actually emphasize my love adequately...but you should all know that I thoroughly enjoy the weekly opportunity I receive every 7th day of each week to weekly make words for you four to five times each month. And I'm not even counting all the times that I open my photo album and start talking to your pictures! That's nice too, but I don't do that very much anymore though,  because my companions start calling me names like, "Crazy American baboon," or "Big blubbery girl," or "Silly bum-face." But I don't let them bother me too much, because I KNOW for a FACT that my face doesn't even look like a bum that much.

Anyways, I'm getting off topic. I've been having a really good time labouring in Soledade, I've had a lot of success with Elder Rodrigues. The members here are AWESOME too! They're constantly fighting eachother to sign up more than everyone else to give lunch to the missionaries (that's us!). They really like us!

One thing that a lot of people ask me, is how the United States is different from Brasil. Anyone that's ever been out of the country among strangers knows that it's hot water to answer this question seriously, because the most obvious differences are always money, government and religion. And food. And you never, EVER say anything about people's government, monetary welfare, and esPECIALLY food being better that the other country's.

So I never answer directly. I've learned to beat around the bush a bit.

One of the things that's interesting is what's considered fashionable and stylish here, like clothing. Here what's SUPER popular is clothing with English words on it. Like, just about any English you can think of. Like for example, I've seen some shirts that say stuff like, "Dancing, love, sang, happy." I would consider that good shirt material. The thing is, they have almost NO idea what it's saying. It usually already doesn't make sense, but for all they know, it could be saying stuff like, "Wee, knuckle, pimple, zit," in very stylish font, and they can EASILY get away with it. It's good entertainment value for strangers. :)

Alright, I have to go right now!

I LOVE YOU!

I'm praying for Mark.

-Elder Daniel Reneer

February 18, 2013

So first of all, momma, thanks for the email, and I will absolutely try to not change the fuzzy head part. I enjoy having a very healthy, fuzzy head. The only problem might be that my head fuzz might not enjoy me as much, and is trying to leave me before I get back stateside...and so that might change. By the time I'm back home,  you might find that affectionately calling me "cue ball head" works better.

Ayways, I'm so happy that you guys are staying active and things are going well. Sounds like maybe a little...over-active? And I'm SO GLAD you guys sent me a card, that HUGS ME. So I took a picture to try to represent my sentiments, I hope it helps you understand a bit just how MUCH I appreciated it. OH ALSO! I finally worked in a photo of me with Elder Rodrigues. The guy's a goober! A way good guy to work with, a hard worker and a good guy, and we've been having TONS of success with finding, teaching and helping people to progress!

One of the photos is of our baptism this last week, of a couple that we've beem working with for about a month now. THEY'RE SO AWESOME. The big black guy's name is Joaldo, the smaller white one is Angelica, and they ALREADY had the mannerisms of an LDS family when we met them. Joaldo just had to ditch drinking with his friends, which was probably the toughest part. But they have a daugher, Alice, who's 9 years old, and it's looking like Joaldo's gonna be the one who baptizes her this week! SO SO SO COOL!

Thing is, we had an...almost crisis with Joaldo the week before the baptism. He had already received answers to his prayers about the Church being true, knew that baptism was what he needed, and was getting prepared to get baptized, and the WEEK of the baptism, he downed a couple cans of beer with his buddy. So when we found out about it, we talked to him a bit, discussed the Word of Wisdom a bit, and Elder Rodrigues asked him very sincerely, "Joaldo, after you drank, how did you feel about what you did?"

He looked down at his feet, he looked pretty sheepish, and said, "I felt bad." "Why, Joaldo?".......(silence)....."Because it was pretty warm."

 Thing is, he actually did feel pretty bad that he had drunk. He passed his interview and everything. The thing is, I just happened to learn in a pretty unexpected way that there's nothing in the world worse than a warm can of beer. Forget the weight of a heavy conscience, or the feelings of being trapped in an addiction, or the sheer disappointment of finding out that old people hairs have started growing in your ears. Nothing, NOTHING compares to a toasty can of booze. That sucker will ruin a good day no matter what.

So, a little about Carnaval here in Brasil...it's they're ultimate holiday here. It's pretty much a week straight of partying, parades, late nights and boys running around in the streets hucking eggs at everything. So I drew a visual aid diagram picture to show you a bit of what it was like. But it's all good, everything went pretty calmly.

ALRIGHT I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH.

BYE.

LOVE YOU.

STILL LOVE YOU.

-Elder Reneer

February 11, 2013

Hi Momma, hi Dad! Hi Reneer family!(this is Daniel Elder Reneer, the one from Brasil just to make things clear)

 

As far as the package thing goes, it's all the same to me. Beggars can't be choosers, right? It's up to you, it doesn't make a difference to me. Now or later, it's all good.

 

Like I've been saying in the last couple curt emails, is that it's been REALLY tough to find a scrap of time to write either letters or emails. The p-days have been a little messed up the past few weeks, with Elder Bednar, a zone activity and a few other things. Today is day 4 of Carnaval (their week of festivals, parties, celebrations, diseases), and there was almost no cyber cafe open for the missionaries to use. So I got lucky today! Almost didn't get an email again....:/ Also, another problem...my pictures may possibly have all been deleted, so until I get the diagnosis on my memory card, my 450ish photo collection is presumably....dead. Ouch.

 

After the first week of this transfer, Elder Bednar came to visit, as I know I've already said. I'm living in Aracaju currently, which is about 6 hours from Maceió, where he came to visit. So what happened was that all the missionaries around the Aracaju area had to travel by bus at 3am in the morning to get to the chapel in Maceió in time for Elder Bednar. So the night before, Elder Rodrigues and I...."Hey, Elder, what time should we get up in the morning?" "Mmm...1:30. That should give us time to get to the bus comfortably." *set alarm, lie down, sleep-die instantly*....*alarm goes off, sit up in bed, wipe sleep from eyes* "Harry, wake up Harry, we're going to the zoo!"...I waited for him to sit up in bed, he looked at the clock and said, "TWO thirty man? TWO-thirty! Run, man! Let's go!

 

....

So we ended up, 3 minutes later, sprinting out of the apartment in the middle of the night, two missionaries in Sunday clothes down the street to try desperately to find a taxi. After sprinting a good quarter mile, we stopped to ask a man - who was talking a stroll in the street at 2:30 with his wife and kids - where we could find a taxi. That's when he stopped us dead in our tracks and said, "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold up a minute. First, say, good evening, how are you? No, no, no, say good evening, how are you sir?" Elder Rodrigues, "How are you, everything good?" ...Then midnight stroller, "Okay, very good, now we can have a conversation like normal people. You can follow this street until you find your taxi, good night." .......Said the very normal man taking a walk with his family at the hour of night when bad things happen, like people getting kidnapped, mugged, cats disappearing, or like really scary nightmares about weeing yourself when the McDonald's cashier asks you what you want. Notwithstanding this man and his burning desire to make friends at 3 in the morning, we still made it to the bus, with time to spare. So, it was a bit of a wierd experience, running around in the middle of the night, tracking down a taxi, getting inspected for common courtesy, but definitely a cool thing! Yeah, like super darn cool!

 

So I also attatched one of the two photos that I still have, of a diagram of how I sleep at night in relation to my fan, the which has started the habit of nipping my fingers at night (it doesn't have a grate in front). I've had a good number of nights and early mornings waking up to my hand getting attacked, in the midst of my peaceful slumber. You really gotta watch out on the mission, there's a million and one ways that dag gum devil'll getcha, you literally gotta sleep with one eye open.

 

Alright family, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. BYE.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I LOVE YOU RIGHT NOW TOO.

 

 

 

 

AND NOW TOO!

 

 

Much love,

Elder Daniel Reneer

January 28, 2013

Well momma, I'm pretty sad, first off, because I don't get to send the email I want this week, it just didn't work out, but I hope you like the photos! We called in the ZL's from the neighboring area to visit a recent convert family and hike up a hill nearby, and so we got a few solid pictures.

I LOVE YOU

The photos contain me, Elder Garozzi (whitish missionary), Mendes(shorter dark one), and my companion E. Rodrigues. 

LOVE YOU AGAIN

Elder Reneer, the Daniel version, number two.